We were invited to an early spring barbecue at the Hopkin’s Saturday night, and I raised a hot topic Diane and I had been “fighting ” (her word) about. I called it a moral dilemma.
Matt wants to go camping in Gilsum (in Maine, he kept asking, “Why come here when we can go to Ed’s place), but bring, not just Robby, Daryl, Chris and maybe Joe, but also, Sarah, Courtney, Kathy and Celeste. Seemed to me, at first, to be a good idea, so I jumped right on that moving train, and encouraged him to set a date. Diane also likes the camping idea, however, being the responsible parent, HATES my plan of a community tarp under which they all sleep. She wants two tents, one for girls, one for boys, and maybe a third, ours, in between.
We were talking about this on our way home from dinner on Friday, and the discussion got so heated, we skipped Willow Books. By Saturday morning, I awoke agreeing with Diane, but by Saturday night I had flopped back to my original position. That’s why I asked Bob and Mary for their opinion. If I was looking for support and not simply clarity, I was in the wrong house. To no one’s surprise they both lined up, steadfastly, with Diane.
I said that Matthew, from the beginning, knew my position, and he knew his mom’s. And Matt is nothing if not opportunistic. Diane and I most times – thanks to Diane’s prescient persistence – maintain a united front. Grades, curfews and the like, he knows he can’t crack us. It’s two against one. But sleeping in the woods with his friends, well, he saw the wedge and he knew he had to separate to conquer.
As I was driving them home, late Thursday night:
Chris. “How many cars do we need for Gilsum?”
Matt. “Two.”
Robby. “Who will drive?”
Matt. “My mom will…but I don’t know if she wants to come.”
Robby. “How about Adam?”
Matt, turning to me, “You know, Robby really likes Adam.”
Robby. “Adam’s da man!”
Sarah. “I like him too.”
Chris. “You know Adam?”
Sarah. “I met him twice.”
Robby. “Maybe Adam could borrow a van and drive.”
I put my brain on record for this conversation. First, those boys never talk about liking an adult, secondly, here they were conspiring to have Adam borrow (or rent?) a van, so they wouldn’t be limited to eight friends. And they had also nudged the responsible parent right out the door. The truth is, Diane loves to camp in Gilsum, and she loves Matt’s friends. She would be a perfect companion, but she’d also be a chaperone.