Dan Downing

Val and her new husband Mike — in Mickey Mouse ears to add levity to the occasion — appreciating parents and closest friends at their rehearsal dinner.

The wedding of my niece brought together 175 people — separated by two degrees or less — in Austin last weekend.

For me it was three days of connecting, reflecting, laughing, learning.

I learned about my son’s partner, JimK, and his new model yacht racing hobby.
I connected with my childhood friend MaryAnn, whose mother, Nancy, was my second mother, as I wrestled with growing up in Mexico City.

I met Madeleine, the strong and beautiful daughter of my sister’s best friend, Elena, about to begin her career as an art teacher at the same French elementary school I attended 50 years ago.

I listened to comments of admiration about how easy my two daughters, Sarah and Rebecca, are to talk with, from a new friend, Mike’s best man, Matt.

I had breakfast with my 85 year-old-mother Bertha, and my just-turned-37 son Jim, and reflected on three learnings from my father that have shaped who I am.

I read a book my son Greg gave me, whose author he identifies with, and gained insights about his own personal dreams and inner struggles.

Weddings and funerals have a natural way of getting us in touch with the parts of ourselves we see reflected in people we’ve known and loved. We need more events like this, less momentous or terminal, to appreciate each other and learn about ourselves.